Detroit Lions - Ultimate Losers

Lonely is the Loser

2010-11-22T14:29:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-w9nmVz0hk

The Ultimate Christmas Miracle

2010-07-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

‘Twas the Sunday after Christmas, when all in Green Bay

Not a Lion was winning, oh what can I say;

The game plans were hung by the lockers with care,

In hopes that victory soon would be there;

The players were huddled all chill in their beds,

While visions of winning danced in their heads;

And Coach in his jacket, and I in helmet,

Had just got hyped so the losses I would forget,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the room to see what was the matter.

Away to the tundra I flew like a flash,

Went to the field and listened to “The Clash.”

The sun on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to Packers below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Grant, and Rodgers, and Driver are near.

With a little shimmy, so lively and quick,

I knew, in that moment I said oh shit!

More rapid than our DB’s they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Clifton, now, Jordy! now, Jennings we’ll mix it!

These Lions don’t recognize coverage & zone blitzes!

To the middle of the field, Lambeau Leap over the wall!

Al Harris, Charles Woodson, TD’s for all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with more obstacles, mount to the sky,

So up to the concourses of the field they flew

With 0-16 shirts worn on kids as young as 2.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the huddle

The crying of grown men, tears in puddles.

As I drew plays in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the pike the referee came to town.

He was dressed all in stripes, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all clean & snug with Reebok boots.

A Hall of Fame football he had in his hands behind his back,

And he was ready, for Canton this ball he would pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His whistle was chrome! His yellow flag was scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And he wanted to be part of history, so it was time to go;

The look in his eye was not a welcome treat,

And looked at us & he could smell the defeat;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he ran downfield like jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old ref,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a flick of his wrist,

Soon gave me 15 yards for another illegal shift;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And launched the flag; then turned (the big jerk),

And laying his finger besides the helmet that was bent,

And giving a nod, back to the sidelines he went;

He sprang to the sidelines and blew his whitsle,

At the end of the game, he left like a missile.

But I heard the fans exclaim, as they drove off in their trucks,

“You guys are 0-16, the Detroit Lions suck!!!”

Happy Anniversary

2010-07-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

On this day one year ago the journey to document and give a historical perspective on how terrible the 2008-09 Detroit Lions really were began. Thank you Jason Delmar Macon for being a dedicated fan of the Ultimate Losers.

The Lions suck: According to a 6-year old

2010-06-08T12:06:00.001-07:00

http://www.ccommisso.com/2010/01/why-the-detroit-lions-suck-according-to-a-6-year-old/

Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions

2010-06-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

http://deadspin.com/5345209/why-your-team-sucks-detroit-lions

Lions Win 2010 Misfit Bowl

2010-01-28T15:57:00.000-08:00

The Wall Street Journal took eight terrible NFL teams -- the Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills, Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, St. Louis Rams, Washington Redskins, Detroit Lions, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- and ran them through a simulator to determine the NFL's worst team of the year.

Four teams are picked from each conference.WSJ's Jason Gay writes that the Seahawks barely missed the cut since such a balance was needed: "sorry, Seattle, Buffalo nudges you out because the AFC needs one more bad team."

The Detroit Lions went on to win -- or is it lose? -- the tournament, dubbed the 2010 Misfit Bowl. Therefore, they are the NFL's ultimate loser this year (sorry Lions fans).

Urban Dictionary: lioned

2009-08-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

Lioned- [lahy-uhnd] adj. 1) to be held without victory, to be swept; 2) 2008 Detroit Lions season of losing; 3) to lose at everything in a big way; 4) winless, void of victory

The Detroit Pistons got lioned by the Cavaliers when they lost all four games by double digits.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lioned

KILL YOURSELF!!!!

2009-08-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

Noice!!!!

Happy Birthday Make....We love you.
Note the site contributors to the right as well as my personal post to the blog entitled "The Detroit Lions Suck a Big Fat Ass."

Also note that Creamy Seemy is not a part of the blog team. He is a worthless carcass, battered and bruised from the spoils of war.

KB, thank you for your efforts on this. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2009-08-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MACON!!!

This is my gift to you on your special day. I had to get you a present

because of the great gift that you have given to me. I thank you for theperpetual gift of the Detroit Lions. Never have I found so much

joy in the many, many, many failures of someone. Thank you for the

gift of the Detroit Lions that keeps on giving.

Speaking of Losing...and Michigan...and Football....

2009-08-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Unfathomable becomes a reality for Appalachian State

ANN ARBOR, Mich., Sept. 1 (AP) — Dexter Jackson sprinted through the secondary early in the first quarter, taunting nearly 110,000 Michigan fans by putting a finger over his lips en route to the end zone. Nearly three hours later, he got the desired result and the Big House was silent: Appalachian State 34, No. 5 Michigan 32.

Julian Rauch kicked a 24-yard field goal with 26 seconds left to put the Mountaineers ahead of the Wolverines and Corey Lynch blocked a field goal in the final seconds to seal a jaw-dropping upset that may have no equal.

“I told them to be quiet — we’re going to be out here all day,” Jackson said, explaining the gesture he used after scoring a 68-yard touchdown. “We’re playmakers. They were talking trash on us, now we’ve gotten them back. It was David versus Goliath.”

Coach Lloyd Carr looked ashen as the upset unfolded, and did not sound much better when he finally arrived at his postgame news conference. “I’ve never been part of a loss that wasn’t miserable,” he said.

Then Appalachian State drove 69 yards without a timeout in 1:11 to set up the go-ahead field goal. “We’re still sort of shocked,” Coach Jerry Moore said after being carried off the field by his players.

Appalachian State has won 15 consecutive games, the longest streak in the nation. The Mountaineers are favored to win the Football Championship Subdivision, but they were not expected to challenge a team picked to win the Big Ten and contend for the national title. No Division I-AA team had beaten a team ranked in the Associated Press poll from 1989-2006, and it is unlikely that it happened after Division I subdivisions were created in 1978.

“Someone said it might be one of the big victories in college football,” Moore said. “It may be the biggest.”

BREAKING NEWS: NFL DEMOTES LIONS TO DIVISION 1-AA

2009-07-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

Things are bad in Detroit this season, so bad in fact that Commissioner Roger Goodell announced just minutes ago the Lions have been demoted from the NFL and will begin play in Division 1-AA effective immediately.
The Football Championship Subdivision (FCS), formerly Division 1-AA, was notified of the NFLs decision shortly after league officials arrived at their decision. The announcement was met with skepticism by several Division 1-AA conference commissioners.
Ohio Valley Conference Commissioner Jon Steinbrecher released this statement upon hearing the news.
“We are saddened the NFL has decided to oust the Detroit Lions, a franchise that has been associated with the National Football League since 1930. But we understand the Lions pathetic level of play could no longer be tolerated, especially by the long-suffering fans of Detroit.”
“However, the OVC has a long tradition of success and we are adamantly opposed to the inclusion of the Lions into our league. We’d prefer to keep Detroit away from our conference because we don’t want the Lions contaminating our member teams.”
President Barack Obama offered his thoughts on the NFLs decision. “It’s time for hope and change in the motor city. The Bush-like policies of the Ford family have led the Lions and the good people of Detroit into a state of despair.”
One FCS member team, the Alabama State Hornets, reacted to the news with guarded optimism.
A spokesperson for the school told the Associated Press, “Alabama State is glad to see the Lions in Division 1-AA. We’re 2-7, so if we can get Detroit on our schedule, we should pick up an easy win.”
Full Story

ONE OF MANY FITTING SONGS FOR THE 1 AND ONLY ULTIMATE LOSERS

2009-07-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Detroit Lions Well on Their Way to 0-32

2009-07-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

By Joshua Lobdell

I want everyone who reads this to think about what is the equivalent of going winless in a NFL season in their own profession. I want everyone out there to ponder that for a moment; and after everyone has an answer to what the equivalent of 0-16 is for their job, if such a disappointing embarrassing feat were reached, would everyone still be gainfully employed?

I am guessing for most of us that the answer is no. If we committed such a heinous act, like the one the Detroit Lions just finished, we would be expecting a pink slip.

Apparently all of us need to go work for the Detroit Lions. Failure is not only expected -- it is rewarded. After choking away an entire season the Lions promoted one Martin Mayhew from Assistant General Manager, to General Manager.

How could this happen?

At the very best Mayhew was the assistant architect of a team that failed to win one single game. Who knows what the very worst is? Only in Detroit, one a team owned by William Clay Ford could this actually happen.

Even the woeful Detroit Tiger team of the mid to late 1990's, people lost their jobs when the team failed to win. I don't understand how anyone associated with a 0-16 record could keep their job, much less get promoted.

Especially when we consider this is the very first day of what it bound to be a long off-season.Regardless of who is and who is not available or interested, the owner of the Detroit Lions owed his fans a detailed search. Instead he promoted from within, even though what was within is tainted. The team has not only been plagued by faulty management, but also burned by a 0-16 record that should hang off Mayhew's neck like a scarlet A.

The Detroit Lions proved today that they care nothing about their record, nothing about winning, and really don't care about their fans.

Full Story

Perfect Preseason = Perfect Regular Season

2009-07-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

Thursday August 28, 2008, 11:45 PM

Lions injury-free, unbeaten as preseason ends

by Tom Kowalski
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. -- The Detroit Lions became the only NFL team this year to finish the preseason undefeated, but that wasn't the biggest news about Thursday night's 14-6 victory over the Buffalo Bills.
The Lions got through the entire training camp and preseason schedule without suffering a significant injury to any player who was expected to make the 53-man roster.
As the Lions head into their regular-season opener Sept. 7 against the Atlanta Falcons, that was the most important thing.
But Lions defensive tackle Cory Redding said the 4-0 record means something, too. No, it doesn't count and everybody goes back to 0-0 in 10 days, but being undefeated isn't meaningless.
"It does mean something,'' Redding said. "We put in our work throughout the week to go get a victory. The meaning of that is to build something, so everything shows up on tape. Run to the ball, be in your gaps -- we practice to win. We have something to build on for the regular season.''
The other interesting developments of preseason were the Lions only turned the ball over once and also didn't allow a single opponent to score more than 10 points.
Lions coach Rod Marinelli said that in itself has meaning.
"It does. Two things -- if you tackle really well, it's hard to move the chains on a team when you don't have missed tackles,'' he said. "And you have to lead the league in effort and get a lot of guys to the pile.''
As far as the 4-0 record, Marinelli said it meant "nothing.'' When asked if he would concede that being 4-0 is better than being 0-4, he nodded.
"I would if the fundamentals are right,'' he said. "The winning part isn't the key, it's 'Are we laying a foundation?' That's the only thing. A foundation of tackling and run fits and trying to run the ball -- it's still not good enough -- and we're looking for blockers. The turnovers are critical and we have to keep reducing our penalties. That's the goal from day one, to get a foundation for this team. And we need to cover kicks a lot better.''
The Lions haven't been 4-0 in the preseason since 1990, not that it's much of an indicator of what's to come in the regular season. The Lions finished 6-10 that year.
Read the rest here

Ranking NFL Teams Since the Merger: The Bottom-Dwellers

2009-07-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

There could be no team in the league that could wrestle this position away from the Detroit Lions.

Last year, the Lions did what no team in NFL history has ever done, 0-16.

It is not one year of horrible play that has landed the Lions in the 32 slot, but many.

William Clay Ford purchased the Lions on Novemeber 22, 1963 for $4.5 million dollars. Since that time, the Lions have won one playoff game. January 5, 1992 against the Dallas Cowboys, 38-6.

As important as it is to be consistent, the Lions are consistent in the worst way. The saddest part about this is that Barry Sanders, who is one of the best Running Backs in the history of the game, had to live his entire career on a team that was never successful.

The only bright spot in the history of the Detroit Lions is that Super Bowl XL was played at Ford Field. The closest Detroit has ever come to a Super Bowl.

Read the Rest Here

Power rankings: Lions worst team of decade

2009-07-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm a Lions Fan - Top 50

2009-07-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. A six-yard out route on 3rd and 8 is considered a "signature play".

2. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I use my fandom as an excuse for things like high blood pressure, poor sleeping habits, and why I shouldn't have to pay my taxes.

3. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Scott Mitchell doesn't seem so bad after all.

4. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I can name the height, weight, and college of each of our offensive lineman, though I cannot name any redeeming qualities.

5. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I get a lot of yard work done on Sunday afternoons.

6. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When our offensive players talk about all the success they are having in practice, I'm tempted to remind them that they're practicing against THE LIONS!

7. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My pre-game meal includes chicken wings, beer, and a bottle of TUMS.

8. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. If I don't have a hat to wear to the game, a brown paper bag is an acceptable substitution.

9. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Andre Ware, Eric Kramer, Rodney Peete, and Joey Harrington. Now that's a legacy.

10. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Having your quarterback make the Pro Bowl is overrated.

11. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I boo my team in the first quarter and think nothing of it.

12. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Our franchise has an impeccable draft record of never getting any value from the second or third rounds.

13. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Matt Millen petitioned the league office to see if preseason victories could count towards his career record.

14. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Brett Perriman was terribly underrated.

15. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. It takes a former player stealing a current one's bags for this team to receive national media attention.

16. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Our most beloved and successful veteran is our kicker.

17. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When I talk about past quarterback accomplishments, I invoke memories of the immortal Dave Krieg.

19. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I've had serious discussions amongst my friends about which NFL team would be most appropriate to cheer for instead.

20. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Opposing fans tell me Ford Field is a great place to celebrate a victory.

21. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I'm the sports equivalent to that chick who can't get out of an abusive relationship.

22. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Watching Rodney Peete demolish us in the playoffs was...fitting.

23. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When I wear my Lions gear in other cities, I receive a polite laugh and an, "aww...that's cute."

24. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My spouse has to explain to the kids why I'm always in such a bad mood on Sundays.

25. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I took Jon Kitna two rounds too early in my fantasy draft.

26. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I felt a mild sense of retribution after watching Johhny Morton's MMA debut.

27. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When was the last time we won again?

28. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I love our retired players, because they remind me of times when things were...um...slightly better.

29. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I'm sometimes surprised by the boorish behavior of the other fans in my section, and then realize by the third quarter that I'm doing the same things.

30. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Our third-string quarterback weighs more than our middle linebacker, and probably tackles better too.

31. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Turning the Lions into a winning franchise on my Madden 2009 only increases my frustration.

32. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I loved Mike McMahon, because for those 5 or 6 seconds he was scrambling around, there was a sense of hope that he might actually throw a completion.

33. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Other fans around the country are unaware of my plight, because the NFL makes sure the Lions stay off of national television.

34. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My insurance company does not accept my family's loyalty to the team as a reason my children should receive emotional counseling.

35. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. The half-drunk guy next to me thinks he can do a better job than Matt Millen. He's probably over-qualified.

36. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I find every loss tragic, yet strangely comforting because of its familiarity.

37. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My best experiences at Ford Field all year are during the MHSAA High School State Finals.

38. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I actually know what shade Honolulu Blue is.

39. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Corey Schlesinger was ranked as the third most popular current Lions player in a recent fan poll.

40. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I have called players like Artoose Pinner and Jeff Garica bums, and then watched in horror as they performed like Pro Bowlers against us once they left town.

41. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I criticize our front office for drafting wide receivers in the first round, and then realize that our wideouts are the only unit worth bragging about.

42. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When I travel outside of Michigan and admit my fandom to others, they treat me as if I have a debilitating mental disease.

43. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. I have lasting Thanksgiving memories of times with the family, huge turkey dinners, and falling asleep on the couch watching the Lions lose.

44. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When people mention going to the playoffs, I turn into Jim Mora.

45. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My favorite cheer is "FIRE MIL-LEN!!!" With "LET'S GO RED WINGS!" a close second.

46. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. When our quarterback predicts 10 victories, I think he's referencing the team's 5-year plan.

47. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. There are three certainties every year. I will be excited at the start the season, disappointed at the end of it, and Detroit will lose at Green Bay.

48. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Averaging 2.5 yards a carry is considered progress.

49. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. My favorite player of all time is Detroit Lions Backup Quarterback.

50. I'm a Detroit Lions Fan. Barry walked away. Why can't I???

http://blog.mlive.com/terpstake/2008/09/i_am_a_detroit_lions_fan.html

Detroit Lions: Failures Even in Logo Design

2009-07-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

The Detroit Lions are the laughing stock of the NFL. They can’t seem to win a game or do anything right for their team, even going a pathetic 0-16 during the 2008 season. They can’t even keep their new logo design secret! It had been rumored that in order to gain some hype for themselves, the lions had plans in the works to change their logo design. Well, the secret was out when photos were leaked to the internet, showing their new design plans. They had been deciding on a new logo to represent them and give them a new image. The new design has now been revealed and there is not much of a difference from the old one.

Full Story

2009 Lions Predicted to only lose 13 games?

2009-07-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas is messing up. How can they set the over/under wins for the 2009 Lions at 3 games??? I am putting my mortgage on the under. FUCK THE LIONS!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why pile on these guys? The 0-16 season is a record that will never be broken unless the NFL goes to 17 or 18 games, so maybe the best thing for the Lions to do is say “f-it” and think about 2009.

Any team that gives up 517 points in 16 games (the Steelers have yielded 492 in the last two seasons total) better makes some moves on that side of the ball, and the Lions have been active in free agency. On board now are OLB Julian Peterson, cornerback Philip Buchanan and MLB Larry Foote. Louis Delmas, taken with the first pick in round 2 of the draft, may be the top safety taken.

While the defense can’t possibly get worse, all eyes will be on top draft choice Matthew Stafford. If he turns into another Joey Harrington, Detroit fans will be wearing bags again and new coach Jim Schwartz will be gone by 2011.

The Lions are re-working their offensive line by signing other teams’ castoffs, but if Stafford winds up starting and gets any time to throw, WR Calvin Johnson should put up some decent numbers.

Surprising stat: The Lions won all 4 of their exhibition games last season.

Team strengths: For some unexplainable reason, the Lions seemed to play pretty well in their division last season. They could have easily beaten division champ Minnesota twice. If Stafford gets playing time early, he and Johnson could make things uncomfortable for secondaries in the NFC North. Also, Matt Millen is no longer making personnel decisions.

Team Weakness: The Dolphins went from 1-15 in 2007 to 11-5 and a playoff spot last season. The Lions are just too disorganized at this point to hope for anything approaching that type of turnaround.

Lions 2009 Season Win Total Prediction - 3

Detroit Lions 2009 NFL Football Future Lines

Los Lions Son Perdedores

2009-07-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

EVERYONE ON THE DETROIT LIONS' ROSTER SEXUALITY IN QUESTION!!!

2009-07-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a little story:

I have been a Detroit Lion's season ticket holder since #20, Barry Sanders, dazzled football fans everywhere with a playoff victory against the Dallas Cowboys. I saw numerous choke jobs (cough cough, playoff game against the Packers with the infamous Favre to Sharpe Hail Mary). Despite all the heartbreak and disappointment, each year I sign the check and set myself up for another year of misery. But, according to almost all of the publications and T.V. experts, the Lions offense would be so exciting this season they could make a push toward a division title. Well, four games into the season, Kitna was benched in the 4th game and the Lions have only been close to winning one game (the Packers). Outside of that they have been beyond horrible. One friend of mine has made a point to try and start the defense and the QB playing each week against the Lions. I personally took a shot on Kyle Orton on Sunday and was able to put up 30+ fantasy points.If you break down the first four games of the season, you find that the Detroit Lions have allowed teams to break records and have career days. Not bad considering they are only 4 games into the damn season!Game #1: Matt Ryan became the 1st QB in 8+ years to start his career with a touchdown pass. Turner goes for 220 with two TDs to break the team record for yards (the Falcons as a whole also set a team rushing record at 318) AND set the NFL record for most yards by a runner in their first start for a new team.Game #2: Aaron Rodgers said "Brett Who?" and tossed for a meager 328 yards (24 of 38) with 3 touchdown passes.Game #3: Detroit Lions kicked Mike Martz to the curb and ended up coaching the 49ers. So in game #3, Martz humilated his former team 31-13. San Francisco put up more yards in this game than they did in almost any game all of last year. How bad is the Lion's defense? Well, SF quarterback O'Sullivan was sacked 12 times in the first two games but only was taken down ONCE by Detroit.Game #4: Kyle Orton: Career day against the Lion's defense, 24-34 for 334 yards and 2 TDs (no INTS)Alas, another season of misery and disappointment. When the season is all said and done, I will (sigh) sign that check yet again on the promose of new management and some stud draft pick. Is there any hope for this franchise or will my children's children be forced to endure the same disappointment I have lived through?

The Lions fucking SUCK big fat ass!!!!

2009-07-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

KaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Yes the Lions blow dick!! Macon cries in his pillow every night like a little girl.

Several factors have contributed to the Lions' lengthy period of suckitude. At least in the last couple decades:1. They never recovered from Barry Sanders' sudden retirement. He was the face of the team and the best player to play for them probably ever. His leaving unexpectedly really gutted that franchise.2. The Ford family must know nothing about football, because somehow Matt Millen has convinced them that he is a legitimate NFL general manager. He is not. For some reason, they continue to give him chance after chance after chance.3. They have faced good teams in their division over the years. The Packers have been good virtually every year since the Wolf/Holmgren/Favre tandem was put in place in the early '90s. The Vikings and the Bears have been contenders at various times during that period as well. The Lions play those three franchises a total of six games each year.

All of the above are just simple excuses. They're all grown men...strap on the pads and do something with your life!!!

And now Stafford will get his pussy handed to him and be traded.

Losing in Many Languages

2009-07-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

Zero and Sixteen - English

Cero y Dieciséis - Spanish

Zero dhe Gjashtëmbëdhjetë - Albanian

Zero и шестнадесет - Bulgarian

Cero i setze - Catalon

Nulli ja Kuusteist - Estonian

Zero at labing-anim - Filipino

Nula i šesnaest - Croatian

Noll och Sexton - Swedish

Zero et Seize - French

Zero und sechzehn - German

शून्य और सोलह - Hindi

Μηδέν και Δεκαέξι - Greek

Zero u Sittax - Maltese

Zero i Szesnaście - Polish

Zero e Sedici - Italian

Zero in šestnajst - Solvenian

Detroit Lions Exorcism

2009-07-08T04:47:00.001-07:00

Fan tries to burn away Detroit Lions misfortunes in form of a scarecrow in Joey Harrington jersey.

"My shovel is sharp and my pick is sharp. And my will is outstanding."

2009-07-08T04:23:00.000-07:00

"I’ve always believed you stay in the tunnel and you keep digging when you expect no light. You have the same faith when you expect no light. You have the same belief in what you’re doing when you expect no light. … It’s dark and I’m going to dig through. My shovel is sharp and my pick is sharp. And my will is outstanding.”

Full Story

Jon Kitna says Jesus will deliver 10 wins to Detroit in 2008

2009-07-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

Detroit Lions quarterback Jon Kitna expects 10 wins. Again. A season after he predicted 10 victories for a franchise that hasn't been to the playoffs since 1999, the 12-year veteran said he and his teammates...

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2009 Another 0-16 season for Detroit Lions with these picks

2009-07-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

Merely hours after the Pistons were swept by the Cavaliers in the first round of the playoffs, the Lions made their picks in the 2009 NFL Draft and unfortunately for them, Detroit wasn’t happy about the picks their team made.

After the embarrassing 0-16 campaign the Detroit Lions had last year, their fans were really looking forward to see their team address some of the issues that equated to such a disappointing 2008 season.

New Bang Cartoon of 2008 Season

2009-07-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

Some view the Detroit Lions’ 0-16 season as imperfection at its finest. But not Bang! Cartoons. In their latest ‘toon, Bang! Cartoons take a look at the perfection that was the Detroit Lions’ 2008 Season.

Perfection Cartoon

A Season of Futility- Game by Game

2009-07-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

Week 1 - 9/7/08 - @ Atlanta Falcons - L 21-34 - Recap

Week 2 - 9/14/08 - Green Bay Packers - L 25-48 - Recap

Week 3 - 9/21/08 - @ San Fran 49ers - L 13-31 - Recap

Week 4 - 9/28/08 - BYE - L - 0-2

Week 5 - 10/5/08 - Chicago Bears - L 7-34 - Recap

Week 6 - 10/12/08 - @ Minn Vikings - L 10-12 - Recap

Week 7 - 10/19/08 - @ Houston Texans - L 21-28 - Recap

Week 8 - 10/26/08 - Wash. Redskins - L 17-25 - Recap

Week 9 - 11/2/08 - @ Chicago Bears - L 23-27 - Recap

Week 10 - 11/9/08 - Jacksonville Jaguars - L 14-38 - Recap

Week 11 - 11/16/08 - @ Car. Panthers - L 22-31 - Recap

Week 12 - 11/23/08 - TB Buccaneers - L 20-38 - Recap

Week 13 - 11/27/08 - Tennessee Titans - L 10-47 - Recap

Week 14 - 12/7/08 - Minnesota Vikings - L 16-20 - Recap

Week 15 - 12/14/08 - @ Indy Colts - L 21-31 - Recap

Week 16 - 12/21/08 - New Orleans Saints - L 7-42 - Recap

Week 17 - 12/28/08 - @ GB Packers - L 21-31 - Recap

2008 Detroit Lions Season

Pictures of the Season

2009-07-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

Game of the Century: 2008 Detroit Lions vs. 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

2009-07-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

In the ultimate battle of futility who is the worst winless team. In the end the Lions choke and lose...or do they win because they are losers???

Game of the Century

Who's worst ever - '08 Lions or '76 Bucs?

2009-07-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

Debate on who is the worst NFL team of all-time.

Who's worst ever? - ESPN

NPR - Detroit Lions: Worst NFL Team Ever?

2009-07-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

The Detroit Lions have become the first NFL team to finish the regular season with zero wins and 16 losses. The Lions' season ended Sunday with a 31-21 loss to the Packers in Green Bay, Wis.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98778127

Congress Considers Bailout for Detroit Lions

2009-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON, DC - Congressional leaders of both parties huddled behind closed doors on Capitol Hill today in an attempt to work out a bailout package for the Detroit Lions. Items being discussed include giving the Lions a four touchdown lead prior to kickoff in all remaining games, forcing Lions' opponents to play at least one half of each game wearing blindfolds, and taking the best players from teams enjoying a bye week and adding them to the Lions' roster.

Detroit owner William Clay Ford, who was observed leaving the Senate office building with Democratic Majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada), told reporters that any one of those options would be helpful. "Not a cure-all, for sure, but a good start."

By late yesterday, a deal appeared imminent. "We're hopeful we'll be able to reach an agreement soon," said Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California). "But it is doubtful we'll be able to have anything in place before Thanksgiving Day."

Speaker Pelosi's remarks sent the nation's football fans into a panic, as the prospect of another Detroit collapse on national television appeared certain. The Lions, who have not won a game all year, are scheduled to play the Tennessee Titans, who have not lost a game this year.

White House spokesman Dana Perino said the President would sign any legislation that would keep Detroit afloat, at least for the remainder of the season.

"The failure of Detroit to remain competitive is a failure the American people cannot abide. We've got to give them the tools to succeed."

The Tax Foundation - Congress Considers Bailout for Detroit Lions

Detroit Lions 2008 Season Summary

2009-07-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

Record: 0-16-0, Finished 4th in NFC North Division
NFL Season Summary

Scored 268 points (16.8/g), 27th of 32 in the NFL.
Allowed 517 points (32.3/g), 32nd of 32 in the NFL.
Differential -249 points (-15.6/g), 32nd of 32 in the NFL.

Takeaway/Giveaway Differential -9 (-0.6/g), 28th of 32 in the NFL.

Expected W-L: 2.8-13.2. (At least they exceeded expectations)

Winless Lions set new benchmark for NFL futility

2009-07-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

Winless Lions set new benchmark for NFL futility

"It stinks, first team to not win a game in a 16-game season," said Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson. "We can't do anything about it. We started off bad, had a couple of chances, but we let it get away. The season kind of slipped away."

How Can Detroit Go Winless in Today's NFL?

2009-07-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

How Can Detroit Go Winless in Today's NFL?

Urban Dictionary defines the Detroit Lions

2009-07-07T09:49:00.001-07:00

The definition of Detroit Lions according to the Urban Dictionary:

1) Haven't been champs since the 60s...only were good in the mid 70s and in the 90s with Barry Sanders

the lions are always screwing up

2) The laughingstock of the NFL.

Doctor: "You know what'll cheer you up?"
Sick Patient: "What's that?"
Doctor: "DETROIT LIONS!"
Sick Patient: "Hahahahahahhaha!!!!"

3) The detroit football club which is never unable to lose a game. no matter what the situation, the lions can always find a way to blow the game...

marked by poor coaching, injuries, empty potential, bad drafting, and losing to minnesoda, and a bad O-line.

even thought it was 26-14 at the final 2-minute warning, the detroit lions still foundaway to blow their 12-point lead

4) Chicago Cubs of the NFL. A Team that could have Jesus as quarterback and still will lose miserably. Used to have the greatest football player of all time, but still couldn't even get to the NFC championship

Jesus back to pass... Throws it... But it's dropped by Roy Williams. Man the Detroit Lions suck

More definitions can be found here ->http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=detroit+lions

Detroit Lions 2008 Season in Review

2009-07-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

2008 Detroit Lions 0-16 Season

Detroit Lions Millen-ium

2009-07-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

Chronicle of the Matt Millen era.

Detroit Lions Millen-ium

Detroit Fan immortalizes losing season

2009-07-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

One Detroit Lions fans (yes I do believe there is more than 1) decided to immortalize the losing by tattooing it on his chest.

Dan's Detroit Lions Tattoo

Jim Rome - The Dream is Complete

2009-07-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Jim Rome's take on the Ultimate Losers. Man Down!!

Romey's Lions finish the perfect season

0-Season

2009-07-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

This blog is intended to document and record how terrible the Detroit Lions franchise is, especially the 2008 team that went 0-16.

No team in the history of the NFL has ever lost 16 games in one season until master architect Matt Millen engineered such a horrid roster that could accomplish this feat. Millen is not the only person who should receive credit for such a spectacular season. Something like this has many heroes. Rod Miranelli deserves much of the credit as well for this accomplishment. Granted Millen had to assemble this ultimate group of losers, but Miranelli had to teach them how to lose together.

Let's further explore this historic achievement.....